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photo: Courtesy Tony Demin/Telluride Ski Resort

Insider's Luxury Guide to Telluride: The Scene

Getting In
With the possible exception of Christmas-New Year’s week, Telluride never gets so jammed that crowds will mar your social life, or restaurant reservations become impossible. Maître d’s here tend to be helpful youngsters, not entrenched social gatekeepers, and there are usually seats to be had with only short waits — even for walk-in diners.

Really Getting In
When visitors or second-home owners of means need special favors, they usually turn to their realtors. Telluride agents know everyone and everything; certain agencies have been known to send private cars to the airport and shops for clients, and have even been known to foot the bill for private jet flights. Here, it actually pays to indulge your mountain home fantasies.

Local Lingo
Colorado Avenue (which holds the majority of Telluride’s shops and restaurants) is universally called “Main Street,” though no such street name officially exists. The Last Dollar Saloon — the town’s most bustling late-night watering hole — is usually called the “Buck” by the same unintentionally misleading locals who nicknamed Colorado Avenue. And if someone says the ski day will be “O.G.,” bring your shovel and avalanche transceiver: “O.G.” means “out the gate” — through the access gate atop Gold Hill and into the backcountry.

Being Local
First, live here 20 years. Or get the mountain bike, fat skis, and Labrador puppy (chocolate) with a Guatemalan-weave collar so you can fake longtime residency. Also, buy a house or condo. The real-estate market in Telluride resembled a 1990s tech stock through most of this decade, but has slowed since 2007. Prices haven’t dropped much, however: A two-bedroom/two-bath condo near the Coonskin base will run you $700,000 or so, while a four-bedroom house near Town Park will cost more than $2 million.

Fitting In
A coat and tie in Telluride raise suspicions: Most who dress that way are headed to the San Miguel County courthouse. Generally, Telluriders have a live-and-let-live approach to fashion, but beware: The county contains dozens of bona-fide ranchers, and they’ll always look better in a cowboy hat than you will.

Sneaking Around
Between Telluride’s named streets lie some (mostly dirt) alleys, which offer a fresh look at town. The scenic blue building housing the town veterinarian lies in one, as does the sunny patio of a favorite Mexican joint, La Cocina de Luz. Alleys are where locals walk when they don’t want to be bothered by traffic (or tourists), and where you’ll see the most interesting work projects, cutest dogs, and best-loved garage apartments. If Main Street is the town's face, the alleys are its soul.

Rubbing Elbows
Along with Daryl Hannah, Jerry Seinfeld, Tom Cruise, Norman Schwarzkopf, and Ralph Lauren, you’ll see well-heeled Texans and Arizonans (who tend to drive here) and Chicagoans (who take the direct flights from O’Hare to Montrose). You may recognize the latter by how silly they look in their cowboy hats.